The Jamil Echoes Blog

"The writer is an explorer. Every step is an advanced into a new land." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mental Health

mentalhealth

Within our African American community we frequently disregard the idea of receiving mental help. We also, discharge the notion that we may in-fact have a mental illness. I have come to believe that is caused from our family, communities, our societal projections concerning mental health. Yesterday, I had departed from a resource clinic and stopped to read the suicide hotline sign. I was unsure why I felt compelled  to stop and read it; but I did. Without thinking anything about it, I continued to walk home. As I was walking home, a car pulled up next me; It was an African American woman in tears. I had walked to her cautiously and she said: “ I seen you looking at the hotline number for suicide, can you please provide that to me?” Without hesitation I gave it to her and also recommended a therapist I personally go to and some resources that could possibly help. She put her truck in park, and we began discussing life’s troubles and stressor’s of life. I offered my advise to her about receiving therapy. Let’s be honest shall we? If you’re black in America and have struggled with any form of trauma you need to be in therapy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “ Church will heal me,” etc. Which to some extent I believe that spirituality can be vital in ones progress to living a whole and complete life. However, Spirituality may not address mood and personality disorders. Your pastor is not qualified to heal your mental issues. I say that with much do respect.

Black people must get beyond the negative stigma surrounding mental illness if we expect to heal individually, collectively. How many times do we observe someone in our family that has mental illness and we don’t address it. Perhaps someone we know, or have encountered. We clearly see the mental illness and we choose to become predators to them. We know they’re weak and we begin to use, abuse and break them down because we’ve never been taught to bring another person up. Now I cannot sit here and lie and say that I am not guilty of this. Hell, I have hurt, abused, lied and manipulated folks because of my own mental issues in the past.

So how do we move forward? We must be willing to do ‘the work’ individually. Once we begin to do the work individually, we then go on to helping other people. It’s like love, once we learn the language of love we then speak it fluently and can teach others to speak. If all we know is abuse and dysfunction, well then that is the primary language we begin to speak. I will say that, we must release our fears associated to mental illness. We must be willing to drop the judgment, ; the need to criticize people for their mental illnesses. We must be willing to educate and evolve our understanding on mental illness. We must mus be willing to see to it that the people we love are getting the proper mental help needed to heal and function in our present society.

What is the work? The work is actively participating in our own mental, emotional and spirtual evolution. Doing the work means that we’re willing to go to depths of our soul, investigating our thoughts, observing and healing our pain. Doing the work means we’re willing to go beyond pain management and into the heart of healing. More times than not, we as human beings want the feel good affirmations, yoga practices but we cannot fathom going deeper within. Many of us cannot fathom really looking at our trauma, emotional hangs up, or understanding the darkness of our soul and yet want to live a life full of abundance. This realization is the miracle for life, this understanding is what allows us to evolve past our current limitations. Let’s begin taking our self love, love for our family and communities become more important than celebrity gossip.

Does Our Black LGBT Lives Matter?

Does Our Black LGBT Lives Matter?

blacklivesmatter

We’re all aware of ‘Black Lives Matter’ and we’ve all projected our own opinions about this movement. Many non black Americans have dubbed this movement as troublesome and further creating racial tensions as well divisions within our country. Thus non black people have asininely failed to acknowledge that black lives are robbed everyday. The evidence pertaining to police brutality, white supremacy, prison industrial complex, systematic racism; Is continuously being dismissed and ultimately minimized to black lives being ‘problematic for America’s good and higher interest.’ Which is to say that we’re advised we’re in-fact responsible for our own mistreatment, suffering, injustices that we face within this country…

Many American’s have went on to believe that our President Barack Obama is to blame for our racial tensions in America. Where as I personally believe that we’ve always had these tensions; up until now we haven’t had our black lives, struggles amplified on national television and social media for the entire world to watch. Despite the video’s that demonstrate the social injustices we as black people face daily; we’re still discredited and further bashed for speaking our truth.

Causing a snowball effect, many of our community members aren’t acknowledged and or considered to be apart of the black community due to sexuality, sexual orientation. The black LGBT community is excluded from the protection, love, support from our fellow black community members at large. We’re isolated from our black churches; The birth place where black folks’ could come together to commune, educate, uplift, heal and simply be one with one another. The black church was also the avenue for black folk’ to communicate to their slave relatives, friends in different parts of the country.

Black LGBT individuals are then forced to migrate and create our own avenues of community outside of the black community, which results in further separation, more death in numbers of our black gay and trans lives. As we continue to fight for our freedom, equal rights, fair treatment…. I must ask the question: Does our black LGBT lives matter?

The End

636031743830588588-1474219814_close-the-book-the-endTHE END!

We all desire, intently want happily ever afters with people. Sometimes we’re granted our innate desires to heal, and gain clarity, forgive and revive our bonds with people from our past. Other times, we’re left to do the work alone. Every situation has a unique set of circumstances that dictates which would be the best execution method. Today I would like to focus on being place in a situation and circumstance where you couldn’t heal with the other person. You may have reached out via text message, social media, phone calls, email. No matter what you did, for what ever reason the other person remains despondent. So you’ve prayed, bargained with God, you’ve strategized and floundered. The depression sets in, you begin to blame yourself and use pity and shame as a means to justify your situation; Your unwillingness to release the past and accept it for exactly as it is. We only have uncertainty, pain, discomfort, and dis ease with any given situation when we choose to not seek peace and forgiveness above all things.

Seeking peace within any situation isn’t easy. After all there many unanswered questions, thoughts and emotions that have you have not voiced or given expression to. So the question remains: “What do I do when someone won’t forgive me? But I want to have peace with them?” My personal answer and honest human advice is…. Begin calling your power back, begin owning your brokenness and re-claim your life. At this early, tender stage, we can get fearful because we realize that emotionally, psychically we must close the door to our past and we can only do that by re-claiming our power. We can be fearful because we’re afraid of what may happen if we out grow the person we hurt, or if we choose to heal and show up in our own lives as a manifestation of love, peace and we no longer serve their perception of who we once were. This is to say… We finally step into the power of God and we then become a willing participant with the co- creation of our life.

Let me inform you on a little secret that you may not be aware of. Your soul demands of you to shed the shame, fear, hurt, sadness and any weight from your past. Your soul demands that you choose to forgive yourself because you must learn from your choices, co- create new experiences. You cannot control the will of any human being. The moment you fully accept this, the moment you will not wait any longer to accept and love yourself. The brutal truth is that when we don’t forgive our self there are pieces of our soul fragmented in our past, which prevents us from becoming. So place the person that refuses to forgive you in this scenario. They too are subjected to the universal laws of karma.

Forgive yourself, move forward. Take action over your life and make choices that you’re proud of and can stand firm in with integrity and grace. You can only close a door to your past, retrieve your power from others once you’ve understood why you’ve given your power away.

Remember shutting a door doesn’t mean you stop caring, it simply means you’re no longer awaiting another persons acceptance and approval for you to be complete within yourself.

Jamil.

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

1483301_10152112708283185_1513254194_nTHE ROAD LESS TRAVELED.

After the storm has cleared, once we’ve gathered all of the broken pieces, shattered fragments of our identity and darkened heart and we choose to heal it. We then are faced with the next chapter in our life. We then are faced with having to decided which road we want to journey. We glance at the past, review every choice, every idea, every success, failure, fear, loss. We review every heartbreak, every venture, every excuse, every pain, every person that we’ve encountered. It is not until we’ve learned and mastered our lessons, karmic cycles that we then are given our new path. Our new path gives us the opportunity to implement and apply the lessons containing wisdom and knowledge we’ve learned from our past. The path isn’t familiar, it’s usually accompanied with new people, new landscapes and new love. This can terrify us because, we weren’t so ready to embrace nor progress on our new path. We didn’t realize that in order for us to move completely forward we would have to use every part of our being. We simply didn’t realize that in-order for us to move forward we cannot allow the past to dictate or instill a sense of fear of our present choices. The past is nothing more than a collection of personal historical lesson’s that we either use to destroy ourselves with or we use it to empower us. That single choice alone manifests the type of journey we will have on our new path. When follow divine guidance you will always create and live out your destiny. If you choose to operate from fear you will live out your fate. Now only you can choose, right now the attractions you’re subconsciously allowing your soul to experience.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard…” Look, I just don’t know what I am here to do.” What this person is truly saying is: “I know what I am here to do but I don’t know how to trust my self to co- create the life I am meant to live… Simply because I can’t make choices from my mind that are congruent with my heart. The external world has more control over my soul and I can’t operate from the level of grace. I sabotage divine guidance and I enjoy being the victim of my own circumstances.”

You see, when you are guided you have to be willing to give up all of the things that are preventing you from following that divine guidance. Many won’t follow it because it requires different wiring from within them. They no longer can operate from their ego’s, they no longer can use power games as a tool or a controlling force. In other words

“ The pent house is to much for me, I’ll take the bottom floor. At-least at that level, I know the laws of power. I can control, manipulate the things around me and I enjoy living in comfort.”- Caroline Myss :

Author of Why People don’t heal and Entering The Castle.

This person can’t see the totality of life because their soul refuses to evolve from the bottom floor.

If we are to acknowledge the divine presence in our lives, divine guidance we then are gifted with healing, direction, grace, stamina, clarity. We’re never given divine guidance without a purpose, cause and or unfolding of a higher order of grace being manifested within this world. This may birth in an inspirational art project, a new business, a friendship, perhaps going back to college. More times than not it’s simply calling that person you refuse to forgive and face it head on. Asking someone for forgiveness, Or it’s learning the laws of grace and love. Whatever you’re called to do in this life, Do it. Even if you can’t understand it. In the end we all must be madly in love with the life, legacy we’ve lived. That my friends is the soul purpose of taking THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED.

Birth, Life, Death, Re-Birth.

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Birth, Life, Death, Rebirth.

As we move further into the Mercury retrograde many of our lives are being rearranged. This usually happens in a series of serendipitous events. It can range from the ending of old toxic relationships, friendships, careers, environments and simply just old ways of functioning that don’t support what is manifested into our life, and or your present state of consciousness. The moment our old lives, ways of being, begin to crumble… We try so desperately try to hold on to what was. Fair enough; we’re all human with emotions and sometimes we attach ourselves to things that can’t and won’t serve our highest good with longevity. Fighting to hold on to those things create suffering, it is only in those moments we truly learn that some things were simply not meant to last a lifetime. This is to say… Pain will slap us silly and we then make the choice to let go and deepen our path or we choose to hold on to the past creating the same patterns with the inability to create anew. As we gently choose to let go of what was ( sometimes it takes months, maybe even a year or two) to fully accept, heal and overcome our inner battles. This is the exact moment we realize that our positive affirmations, visualizations, meditations and crystals; refuse to save us in our crises. This is when we realize that nothing can save us because there is nothing to be saved! I mean come on…. We have all met that man or woman who has fought for their toxic, broke down marriage. We’ve all played the desperate card in the creation of our lives. You know the story: Getting angry with GOD, the universe because things didn’t happen how you thought they should, or maybe you didn’t think it was fair he/she was able to move on with out you… Perhaps he/ she cheated on you and now their happily married. Maybe that co-worker got the promotion and you felt it was unjust because you’ve been with the company longer and you deserve to be acknowledged. The point is: We must choose at some point to evolve our souls, lives in accordance to how GOD, universe see’s fit. Once we know what it truly required of us, we simply cannot ignore intuitive hits of direction, inspiration. Sabotaging and ignoring that guidance will only bring further self inflicted suffering.
Remember to be kind, gentle with yourself. In great transitions, transformations allow yourself the time you need to heal, take some time out for yourself. Sleep, take bubble baths, go on long walks, eat good food, connect with good people, masturbate and tend to your emotional life. No, not just the happy, joyful, loving feelings. Go deeper, go to that place inside yourself that you deny and shine love on it. Go deeper into your pathology, ask yourself and feel ( where am I giving my power away? And to what and I giving my power away?) Go deeper: Why do I hold beliefs that don’t work for me anymore? Go to that place of pain, listen to it- understand it, address it. GO deeper to that place of forgiveness that you’re with holding from yourself or others. Go deeper to that space where you meet GOD and be compassionate with yourself. No spiritual master has said life was a cake walk. They all say you have to show up for your practice and your life.

Happy transitions, transformations.

Touch each other with love,

Jamil Echoes.

Embracing feminine nature.

 

In the past I’ve dealt with men whom were interested in me sexually but could not deal with my feminine nature. In my early twenties I was willing to compromise myself for their comfort, male egotism. Within those experiences I’ve learned how to embrace my feminine nature and not give a shit about their projected delicate male ego. This did not happen over night; of course. 
During this period I had to get clear on self love, self worth. I knew I only had two options. 1. Love and accept myself.
2. Hate myself and become someone else.
Both roads seemed tempting. For a year or so I had a love affair with both of them. I began to fall In love with myself but I wasn’t completely comfortable in my skin. I needed constant validation, attention and assurance from men. On the flip side, it felt seductive to put a social mask on and get the type of men I wanted. It was a completely different world. Within the world masculinity is rewarded, for the first time In my life I allowed myself to indulge in hyper masculine privilege. The more I perpetuated the collective image of masculinity, the more I suffered. Eventually ( years later, currently) I decided to show up authentically in my life. This past year alone, my life is reflecting those internal changes. 
In hindsight, I was literally getting an education on gender roles and how that can effect one’s intimate relationships, life… When I dated hyper masculine men, intimacy was a component that was missing. I felt as though I wasn’t able to emotionally connect to that person(s). Very little emotional honesty, compassion, soul communication. Hyper masculine men are taught to not engage in their emotions. Which can cause dysfunction. I have many heterosexual female, gay male friends who yearn for an alpha male; protector- provider. And become hurt in the long run when some of these men cannot be intimate with them. I’ve experienced men become disconnected/ distant when I attempted to share my feelings, or attempted to connect. These men never truly connected to them-self so how could they have the capacity to do so for me? In those moments I decided to put away the hyper masculine mask and carry on with my journey by living with an open heart and deeply connecting myself to my entire being. 
I believe that a man can in fact be hyper masculine and have the capacity to be intimate. If he realizes that it can be a tool for survival. I’ll elaborate here… Because America is a capitalist country, we’re forced to be aggressive and assertive in our in-devours, dreams goals, etc. No one can achieve anything by being passive. This doesn’t mean one can’t hold compassion, love, and so on. It means that in those moments of defining your life, you do have to put your warrior mask on to make it happen. Unfortunately, the Internet age has many people believing that financial success can be handed to you in the same manner you obtain Twitter followers. Which enables people’s delusion in survival. I’m learning to be compassionate with myself with the hyper masculine mask syndrome, while being compassionate towards other men who have no choice but to place their mask on in a world where the strong only survive. 
Alas, I think it’s imperative to be supportive of these men; within a dating or relational dynamic. If in fact these men are equipped to know the balance of being and doing. Or if these men are open to expansion and growth. We deserve a little tenderness. Not ridicule and harshness.   

Cleaning out the clutter in your closet.